Thursday is Ladies Night, You Know
by And.These.Are.Lemons
Summary: "'No, no, you're safe now. Edgar's helped me out, a lot.' he smiled nervously, 'I'm still hideously insane, but I'm doing much better. Really.'" Devi is forced to go to a club with Tenna, where she meets the man once of her affection. Drunken fluff ensues, only to be crushed by assured Nny/Edgar. There you go, fandom.


_**Disclaimer: Devi D. & Tenna & Johnny C. & Edgar V. & Them Club People... (C) The Almighty Tallest Jhonen Vasquez (Who is actually not much taller than I, ADE. :3)**_

Summary: Something I threw together out of no reason other than me thinking about Devi when I said "Oh fuck. Mom, I feel sick." and she was liek"Uh huh...That shit may work at your father's house, but not in this residence." and I was liek. "No. I mean I FEEL SICK. Take me to the hospital." I had food poisioning. XD Wheeee. LIFE STORIES! :33 My Baby Bears, WERE GONNA GO THIS UMBRIGE'S WAY! (Forty Points To ANYONE who can name where that bit just came from. FORTY goddamn.) 

**_This is also kind of an AU story. Simply Edgar is here. So yeah. He and Johnny are budzzz. :3 LIKE IT! :DD_**

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"Devi! Oh my god! Come on!" Tenna rammed her fist against Devi's purple door. "Get your pants on!" Devi was not changing clothes. She was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, pouting.

"I'm not going." Devi grunted.

"Why not? It'll be fun! Please, Devi." Tenna begged. Devi's eyes widened. Tenna had never said please to Devi.

"Ugh."

"Dev-a-licious!" Tenna whined. The door flew open with a fully club-style dressed Devi.

"Only because you said please." Devi smiled and threw on her trench coat. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"To this totally awesome new club my friend Edgar turned me onto! He said he and his friend went there a lot! It was the ONLY place he can get that guy to dance! The music and 'ambience' is THAT good!"

"Sounds good. Isn't Edgar super religous?"

"Yes. Yes he is. He loves this place though! It's the most satanic thing out there, Dev!"

"Okay, okay. I'm game. I can't wait." Devi smiled at her friend as they walked down the street. They noticed two men in front of them but they were too far away to be looked at properly. Devi thought she recognized one though.

-With the men-

"Hey. Edgar, I think I know that-" He jutted his thumb back at the girls behind them and stopped. "Edgar! That's Devi! We have to go!" He clung to Edgar helplessly. The bespectacled man wrapped his arm around his companion and hugged him softly.

"You'll be fine, Johnny. It's not like she's going where we're going." Johnny kept his grip on Edgar but relaxed. "Not convinced?"

"I'm fine. But I like feeling you hugging me." Johnny muttered, embarrassed. They laughed as they entered the club, smiling.

-Back with our LEADING LADIES! (GET A JOB!) ((SHUT UP, MA!))-

"Dev, you'll love it here. They serve the most amazing drinks!" Devi nodded as Tenna lead her into the club and tugged her over to the bar. She raised her hand indicating a two and mouthed the word, not ever trying to talk over the music. The bartender handed them two glasses and Devi started that the drink, giving Tenna a quizzical look. "They're the best!" Tennayelled into Devi's ear as they found a table. Men and women waved to Tenna happily and Tenna returned the gesture. She and Devi carried on a pretty good conversation for talking about different things without knowing it. Tenna looked at the people dancing and she gasped. "DEVI! THAT'S EDGAR! COME ON!" She pulled the purple haired girl out onto the dance floor and ran over to Edgar. She smiled and danced next to Edgar and smiled.

"Hi." Edgar said so that she could hear.

"I brought Dev!" Tenna smiled as Edgar winced. He had lied to Johnny. They _were_ going to the same place as them. He still smiled back and laughed. Johnny had been dancing next to him when he stopped and stared at Devi. The purple haired one didn't notice until she stopped too.

"Oh, fuck." Devi and Johnny said at once as they looked at one another. All four had stopped dancing now and were either keeping their companion from freaking out or breaking down. Edgar was holding Johnny's shoulder and Tenna was holding Devi's arm. Tenna grabbed Edgar's arm too and pulled all of them out the back door.

"Edgar! You should have told me you were coming!" Tenna yelled angrily.

"I didn't expect Devi to accept so easily! I thought it would take you three days tops to get her out of the house! That's what you said!" Edgar yelled back. They had released their companions and looked over at them. They were just staring at one another, blank stares, as though it wasn't happening.

"DEVI!" Tenna screamed.

"JOHNNY!" Edgar barked. Both flipped to look at their friends.

"Well what'll we do now? I'm not leaving." Tenna said defensivley. "Neither is Devi!"

"Wait? What? TENNA! He'll kill you!" She shook Tenna violently.

"We're not either." Edgar stated angrily.

"Edgar! What the fuck! She's gonna beat your ass!" Johnny shook and clutched Edgar. "I still have scars! Please, Edgar. Let's just leave. I don't want to get pepper spray in my eyes again..." Edgar looked down at the man who was clawing at his shirt and hiding behind him. Devi stared over at Johnny in awe. Did she really scare him that much? She took a step forward and Johnny took a step back. "Look, I just came here with Edgar to have a good time! I told him you were behind us, but he didn't think you were going here too! I wanted to leave you alone! I wanted to go away! I wasn't planning anything! I don't have any knives on me! I swear!" Edgar stared at Johnny. He'd never seen the man so scared.

"A-are you that scared of me?" Devi mumbled as she stared at Johnny. Edgar walked over to Tenna and watched it like a movie.

"Y-" Johnny couldn't speak. He nodded.

"I-I didn't mean..." She looked away. "Why are you scared of me? I should be scared of you! You tried to kill me!"

"Out of love." Edgar and Tenna piped up. Johnny nodded again.

"But...you..."

"You've no reason to feel bad. It's not like that anymore. I'm not in love with you." Johnny turned red and waved his hands in front of him. "No, no. You're safe. Edgar's helped me, a lot." He smiled. "I'm still crazy, but I'm doing much better. I don't kill random people. I rarely ever kill people anymore. I'm just crazy." He offered, thinking she wouldn't care.

"I can't believe it." Devi looked back at Edgar. "Is this true?"

"I've worked very hard on Johnny. He's made an amazing amount of improvement. You should give him a chance, seeing as he doesn't love you anymore. This is a lovely place for a platonic relationship."

"Well, Johnny..." Devi looked back to him to notice his pose. He looked helpless. For someone standing, he was doing nicely to be in a fetal position. "You're getting another chance." He straightened up and looked at Devi, her hands crossed on her chest. "Just, try not to...touch me or anything just yet?"

"Fine with me." He smiled an innocent smile. Devi walked over to Tenna and walked in the door. Edgar smiled as Johnny walked over to him. He kissed Johnny's head and snickered.

"Good job."

"You'll never know how badly that hurt..." Johnny shook.

"What do you mean?"

"She glared at me. You walked away. I...I was unsafe. What if I had made a bad choice?" Johnny rambled.

"I knew you could do it, Johnny. You did a fine job."

"T-thanks." They entered the club and moved over to the ladies. They danced with them and laughed when they saw a pale white boy with red eyes and red hair grinding with a larger tan man with long black hair. A slow song started and Tenna was asked to dance by Edgar. Devi and Johnny moved over to the wall and leaned there.

"Psh. I don't need her anyway..." Devi ordered another drink and took her place next to Johnny, sitting on the floor now.

"Are you having fun at least? I know I ruined it, but you seemed happy." Johnny's voice was soft and calm.

"What? Of course I'm having fun. How'd you ruin it? I was upset for a bit, but after another one of these drinks which I have coming, I could care less." She smiled as someone handed her another glass and took her empty one. Johnny could smell the pure alcohol in the glass that was being carried away.

"You're getting drunk because of me?"

"Nah! Just to forget some things. Who knows, this might fix my fear of you completely!" She was already somewhat drunk. Johnny could tell. Now, he didn't drink, but right now, Johnny had the biggest urge to forget. He ordered himself three of the same drinks she was having and sat himself back against the wall. He swallowed the first sip and coughed at the taste. It was bitter, but he wanted more. He drank them down quickly and found himself drunk near the middle of the second, giving the still somewhat sober Devi his third one. Once they were finished, they were both utterly drunk. Devi stood and laughed when Johnny caught her from falling. Another slow song started and Johnny snickered. He leaned toward Devi and offered a hand.

"May I have...this dance?" He slowed his speaking to not confuse himself.

"S-sure." They took the other's hand and danced anything less than gracefully. The song was ending and a spotlight englufed the two. The crowd started chating 'kiss, kiss, kiss' except for Edgar and Tenna who knew this could be bad. Johnny and Devi shared stares and Devi kissed Johnny softly, causing the crowd to cheer. Tenna and Edgar even joined in. Once the attention was averted to another couple, Edgar and Tenna ran to the other couple.

"Oh god, Devi you're drunk!" Tenna laughed. "I see you took a liking to those drinks? How many did you have?"

"F-four?" Tenna laughed and took Devi to a chair.

"Johnny, are you drunk too?" Edgar snickered even though he was amazed.

"Maybe just a wee bit..." Johnny squinted his eyes and made a small gesture with his hand.

"Yeah, you are. God, you know you can barely stay sober on shots, what were you thinking?" Edgar laughed.

"I wanted to forget some stuff." He giggled. "I got to dance with Devi. Did you see? They made us kiss..." Johnny trailed off and leaned into Edgar. "I don't think I can walk, Edgar..." He said tiredly.

"I saw, Johnny. You danced well. Come on, let's get you home." He pulled Johnny to the door and Tenna was pulling Devi with her.

"I thought he didn't drink?" Tenna giggled.

"He does now. He'll realize the hell of a hangover." Both laughed as Johnny and Devi swayed. Johnny took to starting to fall and Edgar caught him and smiled at him. Johnny grabbed Edgar's shirt and pulled him down and kissed him passionately. Tenna giggled and so did Devi. Edgar had wide eyes until he returned the kiss. Once he was let free Johnny was laughing like the girls.

"You didn't tell me you were gay!" Tenna smiled as Edgar blushed.

"Yeah! That's adorable!" Devi added drunkenly. They laughed and Johnny went red too. They all walked home together and when streets split, they shared hugs and Johnny kissed Devi again. Tenna and Edgar laughed like Johnny and Devi were little kids being cute. Waves were exchanged and they went their seperate ways.

Half way home, Johnny tripped and laughed. "Haha! Is it my stalker chihuahua?" Edgar shook his head and laughed.

"Come on. You're _really_ drunk." He picked Johnny up bridal style and the blue haired man buried his face in Edgar's neck.

"Please don't drop me..." Edgar smiled and carried Johnny home. He unlocked the door and laughed as he carried Johnny in.

"I just carried you across the threshold, you know?"

"Wedding? What..." Johnny mumbled.

"Nothing. Just get some rest." He placed Johnny on the bed and walked into the kitchen and prepared for a long tomorrow.

-With the ladies...-

Tenna pulled Devi toward their apartment but Devi froze.

"What is it Dev-anizer?"

"T-Tenna, I feel sick." She stuttered.

"Come on in, we'll get you some water and rest and you'll feel better tomorrow."

"No, Tenna. _I feel sick_!" Devi doubled over and threw up blood.

"Oh god." Tenna pulled out her cell phone and called an ambulance as Devi continued to be sick. "That Johnny guy must be poisonous." She giggled and rubbed Devi's back as she spilled her stomach.

"I feel sick..." Devi slurred as she thew up again.

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_**+1 for Devi's nicknames. (They're based on songs too. Fergalicious and Womanizer. XD "DEV-a-licious" and "DEV-anizer". Thanks for playing.)  
+1 for Scared!Johnny.  
+1 for Smart!Edgar.  
+3 for Edgar/Johnny.  
+7 for Drunk!Johnny. (He's that cute!)  
+3 for kissies.  
+2 for puns on book names.**_

**_-Seventyfivebilllionnnn for listening to Behind Blue Eyes and writing this and thinking it was cute for a bit. D: Whyyy am I so jaded? Behind Blue Eyes is not a sweet song. It is wonderous but NOT in any way sweet. Like this story. _**

**_Okayyy, so what did you bitches think? :33 I liked writing it and I threw it together in under an hour so be proudd! :DD _**

**_R&R SO JOHNNY (I) CAN HAZ A BOOZE FUND! X3 _**


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